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Hobbiton  Pod Rozbrykanym Balrogiem

"Tak często bywa z uczynkami, które poruszają trybami świata: małe dłonie czynią je ponieważ muszą." , Władca Pierścieni

pokaż tylko ten wpis  Temat: Humor tolkienowski 
Autor Wiadomość

WpisWysłany: 02-03-2002 03:49    Temat wpisu: Odpowiedz z cytatem

Kawały Super śmiech zebrały z sieci Szeloby Z przymrużeniem oka elfy Uśmiech

  • Q: Who is Frodos favourite musician?
    A: Sting

  • Q: What did Sauron say before he died?
    A: Gandalf, I am your Father!

  • Q: Why did the asthmatic dwarf leave the Lonely Mountain?
    A: Because the Smaug got bad

  • An orc, a hobbit, an elf and a dwarf walk into a bar.
    The bartender says "what is this, some kind of a joke?"

  • Q: Why are hobbit doors round?
    A: If you ate 9 meals a day you'd want round doors too!

  • Q: How many Tolkien purists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    A: None -- the lightbulb was not in the book!

  • Q: What do you call a elf with no legs?
    A: leg-o-less

  • Q: What did Melkor said to Sauron when he was taken into captivity by the Valar?
    A: "Keep an eye on Middle-earth!"

  • So, anyway, a wizard, an elf, and an orc walk into a bar. And the orc
    says to the wizard, "Gimbatul thrakatuluk burzum-ishi!!" Then the elf
    says, "Si man i yulma nin enquantuva?!" And then, the wizard says,
    "That's no thrakatuluk, that's my wife!!"

  • Q: How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?
    A: He tried to destroy the ring.

  • Q: Why Sauron wasn't able to conquer the Middle-Earth?
    A: Because he was able to count to nine only, as he lost one finger!

  • Q: Why do dwarves live in the Lonely Mountain?
    A: They didn't want any mountain to be lonely.

  • Gandalf, trying to light his pipe in Moria: "Naur an adriat ammin! Naur
    an adriat ammin! Oh, damn it, _that_ spell is for waking Balrogs. Now,
    for the pipe..."

  • When poor Saruman lost his job and home, he decided to open sex service on the phone: 1-900-SARUMAN.
    He's got a magic voice, remember?

  • Q: How many hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A2: Two hobbits, (because one is only as tall as half a man), one
    magician to read the words written on the lamp, and you need to gather a
    band of men, hobbits, elves and dwarves to carry broken lightbulb and to
    destroy it in Orodruin.

  • Q: How many hobbits does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: Well, it takes twenty because:
    Three to find a ladder that reaches up to the sky
    Seven to find a lightbulb in the dark halls of stone
    Nine to steady the ladder so the one on top doesn't die
    One to install the lightbulb, on the ladder, all alone
    In a land called The Shire, where very few shadows lie.

    >An experienced treasure guard needed.
    Call Smaug the Magnificent,
    The Lonely Mountain, ME.
    No Dwarves or Burglars accepted.

  • Q: Why did the Elves leave Middle-earth?
    A: It was like choosing between heaven and living in a hobbit hole.

  • Q: Why weren't hobbits affected so badly by the One Ring?
    A: Well would you like to conquer the world with FOOD?!?

  • Q: Who is Frodo's favorite singer?
    A: Elvish Presley
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